When they adopted me
They changed my name
From Honora
Honora to Jane.
Do you think something was lost when I became Jane?
Because I know I'm not the same
As you--I'm not the same

My father was a tailor who went insane
My father was a tailor who went insane

I was drawn to nursing like a moth to a flame
The grim hand clutching my starched arm
The spasm dissolving into stillness

I am the shield-maiden wielding the flame
I am the shield-maiden wielding the flame

Those that I liked I would nudge out to sea, just to see
But bring back before dark
They loved me more for it
What is more delicious than "almost"?
Those that I hated I sent to the deep
Those that I hated I sent to the deep
The blacks of their eyes like the black of the deep
Ebbing and flowing, the black of the deep--

I'm sorry everybody
I'm sorry I can't feel it
I'm sorry everybody
I'm sorry I can't feel it

First with the atrophine, then with the morphine
Ebb and flow, large and small
Their pupils grow so large and shrink so small--
Ebb and flow, large and small
I climb into bed and hold you, mesmerized mesmerized
I don't know why but I can't take my eyes
Off your eyes off your eyes
Something cosmic and eternal, like planets or stars
Ebb and flow, large and small

I'm sorry everybody
I'm sorry I can't feel it
I'm sorry everybody
I'm sorry I can't feel it

Was there ever anyone who wanted you to love them
In a way that you could not
In a way you did not feel
Who asked for too much
--There was, wasn’t there?
And you had to say:

I'm sorry
I'm sorry I can't feel it
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I can't feel it

I'm sorry
I'm sorry I can't feel it
I'm sorry
I'm sorry I can't feel it

[from Jane Toppan's testimony:]
"When I try to picture it, I say to myself, I have poisoned Minnie Camps, my dear friend. I have poisoned Mrs. Gordon. I have poisoned Mr. and Mrs. Davis. This does not convey anything to me and when I try to sense the condition of the children and all the consequences, I cannot realize what an awful thing it is. Why don't I feel sorry and grieve over it? I cannot make sense of it at all."

I’m sorry Minnie Camps.
I’m sorry Mrs. Gordon.
I’m sorry Mr. and Mrs. Davis.
I’m sorry my sister.
I’m sorry I can’t feel it.

I’m sorry prosecutors!
I’m sorry I don’t feel it.
I’’m sorry judge and jury!
I’m sorry I don’t feel it.

I’m sorry to my jailers!
I’m sorry I don’t feel it.
I’m sorry everybody!
I’m sorry I don’t feel it.